Personal Experience
Error of Retrospect
At 19, my life began to rearrange itself. Germany had been reunited for five years, and my world was upending in ways I had never imagined. My brother was helping a family of DDR refugees rebuild their farm—a family that had fled under forced expropriation and was now returning to reclaim what they once lost. It was on that farm, while fetching fresh milk every now and then, that I first met Johan. He was charming, witty, and hardworking, and although my mother disapproved of him, her disdain only deepened my affection. A year later, I moved in with him on the farm—a decision that turned out to be the wildest rollercoaster of my life.
Pregnant with our first daughter, we married so that Johan could avoid military service. From that moment on, he worked relentlessly while I struggled to find my place. Johan’s mother rejected me outright—first when I tried helping with the chickens, then with the cows, and even in the kitchen, where I was forced to obey her every command. So, I took matters into my own hands and opened a small farm shop, which over the years blossomed into fifteen outlets. Yet, the business was never truly mine—it belonged to Johan, even though I had always believed otherwise.
As our children came into the world, I managed the company tirelessly from behind the scenes- CEO in the shadows, sacrificing friendships and my own time. Just when the business seemed stable enough to consider expanding our family, Johan once again pulled me into the unyielding hamster wheel of our lives. I hired an assistant, Marie, and after 17 long years, I even found a true friend. She showed me that stepping out was an option, that I didn’t always have to keep pace with the relentless speed of our existence.
But Johan’s jealousy flared. He painted me to our older children as a reckless, irresponsible
mother—and they believed him. In his wounded pride, he sought solace in an affair. When I finally discovered the betrayal, I gave him an ultimatum, yet the prevailing sentiment was to “think of the family,” not to tear it apart with divorce.
Now, thirteen years later, the courtroom battles continue. I was shortchanged with a mere 60,000 €, having left him three companies. All the work I poured into the business was never acknowledged—I was never on any contracts. My older daughters have severed ties with me, swayed by Johan’s better-told story. Although my younger children remain by my side, he is now determined to wrest them away through legal means. Today, I toil in a new company, striving to support them. After twenty years trapped in the relentless cycle, I now choose to stand at the back, shielding my children from the financial burdens that once consumed our lives.
This story is powerful, and the data that follows shows that it is far from alone.…
The proportion of women in the overall top management level of German companies has stagnated at 23.9 percent.
We as German women perform significantly more unpaid care work than men. In 2022, we spent an average of approximately 29.52 hours per week (29 hours and 31 minutes) on unpaid work, whereas men spent only 20.42 hours.
Marriage leads many women into financial dependency. 19% of women aged 30 to 50 do not earn their own salary. Additionally, 63% earn less than 1,000 euros net per month because they often work part-time in poorly paid jobs. This situation is dangerous and, unfortunately, hardly emancipated at all.